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Aftershock review

Posted in Foreign Horror, Survival Horror with tags , , , on May 23, 2013 by Alex Roy

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Aftershock (2012)

Tagline: The only thing more terrifying than Mother Nature is human nature.

Directed by:
Nicolás López

Produced by:
Eli Roth
Brian Oliver
Miguel Asensio

Run Time:
90 minutes

Released:
September 11, 2012

Review:

Aftershock is a mediocre survival horror film that had the potential of being so much better. The film’s biggest problem is that it is a film that has a poor cast of actor who are quite bland in their parts. The dialogue is also pretty bad and despite its interesting idea, fails to truly entertain due to an underdeveloped script that just doesn’t have anything worthwhile to thrill the viewer in a manner that will keep him on the edge of his seat. This is a predictable affair that has many problems with trying to create a convenient and memorable horror disaster film. But the result is a mess of a picture leaves a lot to be desired.  This film could have been great, but Eli Roth is not that great of an actor, I mean he was great in Tarantino’s Inglourious Basterds because he really was the Bear Jew and the part suited him, but in other roles, he just doesn’t shine, and is wasted on-screen. Just because he produced the film doesn’t mean he should have convinced himself he could act, because he can’t. He is a decent horror producer and director, and he should stick to that. However here, he scores his first misfire in a while, after Hostel II of course. If you’re expecting a great film, you’ll sadly be disappointed as this one just doesn’t deliver on its concept. I thought it mediocre to poor, and left a lot to be desired. If the script would have been rewritten a few times, and its idea more thought out, then I think Aftershock could have been a memorable and entertaining addition to the horror genre. This is not a film that is worth checking out, and most of time, it’s laughable, when it’s not supposed to be. For a survival horror film, this one misses the mark, and it shouldn’t have because it had the potential of being a great film that stood out.

Final Rating:
4/10

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The Evil Dead 2013 review

Posted in Bad Horror, Remakes, Zombie Films with tags , , , , , , , on April 15, 2013 by Alex Roy

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The Evil Dead (2013)

Tagline: The most terrifying film you will ever experience.

Directed by:
Fede Alvarez

Produced by:
Sam Raimi
Bruce Campbell
Robert G. Tapert

Run time:
92 minutes

Released:
April 5, 2013

Review:

The Evil Dead was a stunning picture that redefined horror. Sam Raimi’s film was terrifying and had wonderful effects and the filmmakers worked with a shoestring budget and were able to pull something truly unique with The Evil Dead. The classic had a sense of atmosphere and brooding tension, which added so much to the terrifying experience. This remake on the hand just suffers from start to finish. The only thing that makes film stand out is the gore effects, and they are quite good and very well done. However where the film lacks significantly is that it relies too closely on the original film to create its scares. Unfortunately this is where the movie fails. Aside from a few changed scenes, this is practically the same film. What made the original so good was the craft, the effort put into it that made it a terrific film to watch. However this one has a bigger budget a bad cast and a poorly written script with few cringe worthy bits of dialogue. I was very much disappointed with the result of this remake, and I thought it was a movie that was killed by way too much praise. I think that they stop remaking every single horror classic because no matter how much you tweak every single imperfection, the remake will never outdo the original. Evil Dead was yet another pitiful, overrated film that just didn’t deliver. Sure it had the gore, and if that’s what you’re looking for, then you may enjoy it, but you want real tension with your gore, you’ll sadly be disappointed. I wanted to be terrified and have a good time, but I simply didn’t. There are some remakes that work and some that don’t. Evil Dead is such a film. There is plenty of splatter effects here, with none of the chills and tension of the original. This is an overrated piece of shit that never should have been made.

Final Rating:
3/10

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The Bay review

Posted in Bad Horror, Found Footage, Sci Fi Horror with tags , , , , , , , , , on April 7, 2013 by Alex Roy

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The Bay (2012)

Tagline: Panic feeds on fear.

Directed by:
Barry Levinson

Produced by:
Barry Levison
Oren Peli
Jason Blum
Steven Schneider

Run time:
84 minutes

Released:
November 2, 2012

Review:

Great idea for a horror film, but it lacks originality and real scares. The Bay is yet another documentary style horror film that we’ve seen many times before. The film is mediocre and lacks anything really engaging. The problem with this genre is that it’s over done. Filmmakers tend to recycle the same formula and in turn the material on-screen suffers significantly in terms of telling something that is supposed to be truly suspenseful and terrifying. The found footage genre is overdone and pointless. The last good film in this horror genre was V/H/S, and in my opinion, they should have ended that genre with that film. The problem with The Bay is that it is a predictable film and you know how it will turn out.  There simply isn’t anything worthwhile here to make it a truly good horror yarn. I really wanted to enjoy, unfortunately, this was yet another unsatisfying found footage film that is clichéd and scare free. This film was produced by the same guys who created the Paranormal Activity films, and though the first three films in that series were genuinely scary, the formula that the filmmakers keep using becomes tiresome and all too predictable. There’s only so much you can do with this formula before it becomes boring. The formula worked well with Paranormal Activity and other films. However with The Bay, it just doesn’t deliver and it is a bland affair with no genuine scares and in turn it becomes a tiresome, dull horror film that just doesn’t terrify. I really expected a great film with this one; unfortunately it is a mediocre horror film that will disappoint you if you’re looking for something fresh to watch. The Bay contains scenes that we’ve seen many times before and it ventures into old territory that simply isn’t interesting due to a lacking script that relies on a clichéd idea that cheats the audience. Stick with the older found footage film as they’re far better than this.

Final Rating:
4/10

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Dark Skies review

Posted in Bad Horror, Sci Fi Horror with tags , , , , , , on April 7, 2013 by Alex Roy

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Dark Skies (2013)

Tagline: Fear the dark.

Directed by:
Scott Stewart

Produced by:
Jason Blum
Couper Samuelson
Jeanette Brill

Run Time:
97 minutes

Released:
February 22, 2013

Review:

Dark Skies is a mediocre horror film that tends to rely heavily on clichés of previous horror films to create its tension on-screen. The film uses old ideas that we’ve seen many times before in other films. This picture had the potential of being a great film; instead it just barely makes for an entertaining movie. It relies on cheap jump scares that are bland, and tiresome. This could have been a memorable horror yarn, but it just doesn’t deliver the goods that horror fans want. It’s all recycled ideas and the sad thing is, is that the film started off with lots of potential, but halfway through it starts coming apart. Dark Skies I found was another bland horror affair that just doesn’t deliver. The performances are wooden and don’t stand out and the directing is sloppy with no emphasis on trying to create atmospheric tension and suspense. I feel that if the film would have relied more on those elements, then this horror tale would have been a memorable and very entertaining picture that is truly worth checking out. I really wanted to enjoy the film, but I felt that it was a mediocre attempt at horror and a cheap way to recycle old ideas that we’ve seen many times before. There have been far better horror films this year, but Dark Skies just makes you want more out of a film. With a more thought out story and a better cast, this film could have truly been one of the best horror films of the year. However the end result simply doesn’t satisfy and Dark Skies just disappoints.

Final Rating:
4/10

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Creep Van review

Posted in Bad Horror, Other Slashers with tags , , , , , , on March 24, 2013 by Alex Roy

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Creep Van (2012)

Tagline: Let the bad times roll

Directed by
Scott W. Mckinlay

Produced by
Chris Abell
Jim Bartoo
Robert M. Evans
Vince Marinelli
Scott W. Mckinlay
Megan Powers
Michael J. Walker

Run Time:
80 minutes

Released:
June 10, 2012

Review:

Creep Van is yet another awful straight to DVD horror title that really doesn’t deliver.  The idea for the film was quite interesting; unfortunately, the filmmakers were not able to create something watchable. The end result is a film that is poorly acted, directed with no flow to keep you interested from start to finish. Creep Van could have been a wonderful low-budget horror yarn; unfortunately it fails in almost every respect.  The film feels rushed, with no emphasis on trying to make a memorable, watchable film that could have been good. The film relies more on clichés and sloppy directing, which simply doesn’t work. This is a horror film that definitely doesn’t deliver on its ambitious ideas, thus it ends up being a dreadful film going experience that simply isn’t worth your time. Creep Van is a low-budget schlock fest that just doesn’t thrill. The film is pretty boring, and there is never anything to really grab your attention. The idea for the plot was good, but the execution was poor. This is just another one of those forgettable straight to DVD titles that simply fails to thrill the viewer. The horror is terrible, and it relies on clichés and there are no performances that stand out. There is nothing worthwhile to enjoy here, and it presents fans with the same old tired out formula, instead of trying to do something new and refreshing. If the film would have been rewritten, and a few things changed up, then maybe this film would have been worth seeing. As it stands, this is a forgettable dull affair that simply isn’t worth your time due to an awful scrip, awful directing and awful acting.

Final Rating:
1/10

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Xtro II: The Second Encounter review

Posted in Bad Horror, Sci Fi Horror with tags , , , , , , , on March 24, 2013 by Alex Roy

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Xtro II: The Second Encounter (1990)

Tagline:  Part Alien. Part Predator. All Terror.

Directed by:
Harry Bromley Davenport

Produced by:
John A. Curtis
John Eyres

Run Time:
92 minutes

Released:
October 19, 1990

Review:

Sequel to Xtro is a stupid, painful film that doesn’t continue to story of the first film. I really don’t see why the filmmakers bothered at making a sequel, as this one just fails to have anything worth seeing. This sequel is filled with a bad cast, a poor plot and poor direction. I really hated the film, and it didn’t offer anything to the viewer. The original Xtro was nothing great and quite frankly didn’t really stand out in the genre. Not to mention it absolutely unnecessary of being followed up by a sequel, which didn’t add anything new to the first film. I really didn’t enjoy the film, and I felt it was a painful film to watch that looked cheap and was made to make a quick buck. This is an awful piece of trash that just doesn’t work to entertain the viewer. Instead the viewer feel strained, and that’s how I felt watching this film as the film tried to introduce a concept was too ambitious, and failed with its ideas due to a poorly written script that lacked in terms of good story. The first entry at least had some effective effects to keep you interested, but this one simply is a mess of a film that simply doesn’t pull off anything remarkable. This is a totally unrelated film to the original, and I really don’t know why the film bears the Xtro name. This is simply put low-budget trash that relies on poor acting, poorly developed ideas and unfocused directing to try an appeal to fans of the original. The first Xtro was decent at best with plenty of imperfections, at least it was entertaining. However this one fails and should be avoided.

Final Rating:
2/10

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Xtro 3: Watch the Skies review

Posted in Bad Horror, Sci Fi Horror with tags , , , , , , , , on March 24, 2013 by Alex Roy

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Xtro 3: Watch the Skies (1995)

Tagline: From beyond imagination… from beyond the earth itself… XTRO waits.

Directed by:
Harry Bromley Davenport

Produced by:
Harry Bromley Davenport
Jamie Beardsley

Run time:
90 minutes

Released:
November 14, 1995

Review:
Third Xtro film is yet another horrible pointless sequel to the original Xtro. To those who enjoyed the first one, they may want to pass up on yet another dreadful sequel. This is yet another poorly constructed movie that just doesn’t have anything to do with the original. I absolutely hated the film and felt it was on e of the worst sequels in the horror genre. Everything that can go wrong with a sequel goes wrong and it ends up being a train wreck of a film that simply doesn’t deliver anything worthwhile for the viewer. If you’re expecting something great here, you won’t find it as it is a horribly directed affair, where the director doesn’t seem to care about creating something worth seeing, Now the first Xtro film, although weak, and overall decent in terms of mindless entertainment value was at least fun due in part to gory visuals and effective effects that managed to overshadow the shallow plot and so-so acting. This third film in the series simply doesn’t have anything worthwhile in terms of good story and memorable moments that will delight horror fans. This film was awful and I really don’t see why they bothered making another sequel to a film that simply wasn’t even that great to begin with. This is a film that definitely isn’t worth watching. Watch something else; you’ll be glad you did, as this film simply didn’t have anything to appeal to genre fans looking for awesome horror. Stick with the original, which although not perfect had some great gore which is sure to delight genre fans looking for a fun, mindless ride. But Xtro 3 is a poorly constructed film that just doesn’t deliver anything entertaining.
Final Rating:
1/10

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2001 Maniacs review

Posted in Bad Horror, Horror Comedy, Remakes with tags , , , , , , , , on February 15, 2013 by Alex Roy

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2001 Maniacs (2005)

Tagline:The south will rise again

Directed by:
Tim Sullivan

Produced by:
Christopher Tuffin
Scott Spiegel
Eli Roth
Boaz Yakin
Brett W. Nemeroff

Run Time:
87 minutes

Released:
October 25, 2005

Review:

2001 Maniacs is a film that had plenty of potential of being a terrific and memorable horror comedy. Unfortunately this film misses the mark, and ends up being a tiresome tedious affair with no redeeming qualities. This is simply put a bad movie and it just fails in every sense. I am actually surprised that this film didn’t deliver anything worthwhile with its interesting premise. However, it was a pitiful movie that had some poor acting, and considering there was Bill Mosely and Robert England, two veterans of the genre, this one simply didn’t offer anything good for horror fans. I thought that this was a poor horror film, and yes, I do get that it is supposed to be ridiculous, but the filmmakers could have tried to at least make something good and memorable. This film was bad and it was a waste of good horror actors’ talents in my opinion. The only scene that was good to see was the part where one of the girls was getting sawed in half by a table saw. However not even that juicy bit of gore was enough to redeem this poorly thought out movie. If you want a good killer redneck horror comedy that is over the top, but very entertaining, watch Trailer Park of Terror instead. 2001 Maniacs is yet another failed remake that just misses the mark. This is a horrible film that fails to really entertain, and you’d be better off watching something else. The idea was good, but the execution was very poor and lazy that the result is a badly acted film that just ends up being a waste of time.

Final Rating:
2/10

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Thankskilling review

Posted in Horror Comedy, So bad, it's good with tags , , , , , , , on February 7, 2013 by Alex Roy

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 Thankskilling (2009)

Tagline: gobble, gobble Motherfucker!

Directed by:
Jordan Downey

Produced by:
Kevin Stewart
Jordan Downey

Run time:
70 minutes

Released:
November 17, 2009

Review:

This film is one of the rare times in horror genre where the filmmakers try to purposely create a film that is so bad it’s good. Everything you see is intentional. Right off the bat, Thankskilling is a film that no one should take seriously. In terms of entertainment value, this film delivers something so cheesy that it’s actually worth seeing. This is a ridiculous premise and it works. Go into this one with an open mind, you’re sure to have a good laugh. The film is about a killer turkey, and yes, you heard that right. Everything is over the top, and the cast are pretty bad. However that’s all part of the fun.  This has got to be one of the most original low-budget horror comedies that I have seen in quite some time. The special effects are cheesy and silly, and this is a picture that is sure to delight low-budget film freaks everywhere. Remember that this is meant to be stupid and entertaining. Don’t expect anything great with this one. Thankskilling is tongue in cheek comedic horror at its best and I haven’t seen anything that rivals it in so bad it’s good horror, except maybe Troll 2. The best way to enjoy this film is with friends while you’re having a bad movie night. This is one of the few bad movies that actually manages to be quite entertaining due to its sheer ridiculous plot. If you want something different in terms of a horror comedy, then this is a film to watch. The film is intentionally bad, but it works because it is simply too much fun if you’re in the right mood.

Final Rating:
6/10

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Thankskilling 3 review

Posted in Bad Horror, Horror Comedy, So bad, it's good with tags , , , , , , on February 7, 2013 by Alex Roy

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Thankskilling 3 (2012)

Tagline: gobble, gobble Motherfucker!

Directed by:
Jordan Downey

Produced by:
Kevin Stewart
Jordan Downey
Ricky Fosheim

Run time:
99 minutes

Released:
November 1, 2012

Review:

Thankskilling 3 is the follow-up to the original, and it serves more ridiculous ideas. I quite enjoyed the first film, and thought it was an original comedy horror film that was so bad it’s good. The sequel on the other hand is disappointing. The comedic elements are more elaborate in the plot is way more silly than the original. The film has a cast composed primarily of puppets, which just doesn’t work. What made the first one worth seeing was the sheer ridiculousness of a murderous turkey killing people with axes, a carver and other assorted tools. That was fun, and entertaining. Thankskilling 3 is bad, with nothing good going for it. I was disappointed and after the entertaining first film, I expected something good with this follow-up. However it just fails. The film could have been quite good, but it relies too much on the puppets, and it just doesn’t have the charm, wit and ultimately the memorable silliness of the first picture. Thankskilling was original and hilarious. This one is trash, uninspired garbage that will disappoint fans of the original. The problem with this one is that the filmmakers try to create something refreshing with the material, but they don’t know how to create something watchable.  The film leaves a lot to be desired and it leaves a lot of room for improvement. At times there are glimpses of what made Thankskilling worth seeing, but it just gets lost in a poorly thought out plot that tries to add layers to a film that had a killer turkey killing people. This is a multi layered mess of a film that just fails to be fun and entertaining. Stick with the first film, and don’t waste your time watching this one.

Final Rating:
4/10

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